My husband, Terry, and I were nine years into a second marriage for both of us when he suffered his first major medical event.  He had two daughters, I had one son, and together we had a daughter.

Our baby, Molly, was barely 8 years old and our only child still living at home when her dad had the heart attack that changed all of our lives.  He had been a vital, active, and otherwise healthy man, and literally overnight became someone physically different.  As a result, she’s grown up with unexpected hospitalizations, life threatening medical episodes, and the understanding of how important life truly is when you love someone.  She is in college now, working on her BSN to become a nurse, so she can work helping other families.  If your glass is always half full, as ours is, then she is the silver lining in this whole ordeal.  She recognizes how critically important good nurses are, and what a difference they have made in the care of her dad.  That realization has put her on the path to a lifetime career that can potentially impact in a positive way an unlimited number of individuals and their families.  To say we are proud is an understatement.

His other two daughters, Charlotte and Sandy, and my son, Josh, have children and families of their own now.  Charlotte’s oldest, Owen, chewed on my cheek as a 7 month old the night of Terry’s heart attack, and made the experience a little easier to bear.  It was easy to believe all would be alright when I held a piece of Terry, through his grandson, in my hands.  That Terry has been here to see that grandson growing, and the other grandkids who have come along since then, is a miracle to us.  His middle daughter, Sandy, was even able to leave her daughter at home with Terry one day a week while she was at work.  It was incredible to watch her growing up week after week, and wanting to spend time with Grandad. There were bumps now and then when Spencer might come back to my office with me if he wasn’t feeling up to keeping an eye on her, but all things considered, we were fortunate she was able to come and stay until she started kindergarten.  Those are the experiences and the memories they will have when he is no longer here with them.  Those are the times you cannot put off until later.

I left my job of 18 years at an Area Agency on Aging, managing programs to help other folks taking care of their elderly loved ones, and chose to be at home with my husband in September of 2010.  I no longer have to worry about what meeting or presentation I’ll need to reschedule to go to doctor’s appointments with him.  I don’t have to worry if I haven’t gotten any sleep after being at the hospital all night that I have to get to work or make other arrangements.  Not having the security of a paycheck has been a little scary, but the benefits in other ways have more than made up for it.  Terry never wanted me to be in caregiver mode instead of wife mode, and being home with him has given us that opportunity to be a couple.  It’s given us the time to talk about what really matters, and what his expectations are regarding his own health.  Those are the conversations that come from being available and having the time to talk.

So that’s who we are.  A family, fortunate time after time, to have gotten the benefit of one more day with the man who is a son, brother, husband, father, grandfather, and friend.  We are happy to welcome you along our journey, trying to find answers to the health issues Terry develops.  It’s been quite a ride so far!

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